lonelycoast:

“Pulling up their pants to protest the proposed buttfucking we want to give them is a dangerous gimmick”, declared former Senator Chris Dodd, now chairman and CEO of the Motion Picture Association of America. In a statement released Wednesday, Dodd said, “They are misusing their power by informing internet users and getting the people all angered up at our power grab. It isn’t fair. We worked really hard at trying to take control of the internet and it’s falling apart because everybody knows about it now. Now we are standing here like jackasses with lubed up cocks and no where to stick em.” He went on to whine like a little bitch, ”It is an irresponsible response and an abuse of power, which is what we wanted to do.”